I feel old.
 Yes, I actually do, and I'm not even 20 yet. Do you know that feeling when you hear a song you remember from your childhood and you instantly feel old just because you know it's been published in the early 2000s or late 1990? I definitely do. Whether it'd be "All the things she said" by t.A.T.u. or "Tubthumping" by Chumbawamba (which, by the way, is as exactly as old as I am) - lately I'm confronted by a lot of things that make me feel old. Looking at pokémon of the first generation. Sorting out my old things I used to have when I was a kid. ... ugh.

 I never thought I'd be that type of person who feels nostalgic a lot. "You live now, and that is what you care about" and "The future is tomorrow" suddenly aren't much of a thing anymore. I just miss certain things. People I used to hang out with years ago. Free time I could spend with fun things instead of needing it for a nap. Good old times.

Sometimes I think we live too much for the future. We should live for today, for the moment, for the present since that's the only thing we can immediately change, but sometimes the past catches our attention. Missed opportunities, lost chances, but also great times, favourite memories, things that used to make us laugh and still do. Good old times.

We all changed. A lot. It's a natural process, we change every second. But isn't it weird that our favourite colour now might be the one we hated the most when we were kids? That we suddenly like soy and rice which we considered to be disgusting when we were younger? Are we still the same person?

I sometimes miss those good old days. When everything was great and easy, no responsibilities, no pressure, good old easy times. But hey - isn't it great to stand on our own feet now, to have that freedom of doing whatever we want? To be able to cook on our own, to purchase every video game we want? Yes, we have to work. But we also don't depend on anyone anymore. Have our own oppinions. Don't depend on anyone anymore.

Memories are great.
But still, we shouldn't just live for them. We should create new ones. And actually, feeling old makes me realize how little time I only have to spend on this planet, and how much I still want to achieve. I want to be able to look back to the past one day and say "yes, you've done everything you wanted to do", I don't want to miss anything. However, these days somehow are days to remember things. To be grateful for people, chances and situations. To look back and smile, because we had the chance to experience great days.

Time is a construct that doesn't even really exist, but it also makes our lifes memorable. Time is weird. And times change, and we never know to what. Life is only worth as much as we make out of it. I want to live for the good days I want to experience. I want to be happy. And goddamnit, I don't want to feel old already! But hey, there are still very many days to spend doing all the things I want to do. Even if that's just sitting in front of my computer, singing songs I used to love when I was a kid. Great, good old times.~